Niema Jordan

Searching for words

But can’t pin point the feeling I’m trying to describe

Thus Letters jumble together

Like my thoughts

Neither her nor there

And I try to make them coherent

This is my process

Journey towards self discovering

While I front like I have it all figured out

Can’t write for stage now

Can’t think about winning fans

I’m trying to touch sanity

Writing my life and designing my path

I have to do this

Poems reveal what I think about myself

Insecurities splatter on paper

Confidence hides between the lines

This is me trying to figure something out

My reflection on page

In some ways my words betray me

When I pretended not to care

They told him I was in love

When I said I was complete

They said I was missing a father

Me and my words

We have this history

Betrayed not only in what is written

But by what I haven’t been able to write

My life lays

And sometimes attempts to lie on these lines

But the truth always comes out

I need this

Can’t forsake it

Can’t abandon my words

In search of degrees and careers

Can’t put them to the side to report the dreams of someone else

Can’t forget them in the pursuit of the dream that was never mine to have

Can’t lose my words

Because then I’ll lose myself